Human beings are social creatures. This means we not only tolerate but enjoy being around other humans, including strangers. Our brains are quite unusual in having hypertrophied regions devoted to acquiring and processing social information when compared to other mammals. As a result, it is quite natural for unrelated humans to congregate in an office and work on joint projects together, or sit in a movie theater with a bunch of strangers. Indeed, many of our best times happen when we are with others. Whether it’s sharing a laugh with colleagues, celebrating Galentine’s Day with friends, or simply spending Valentine’s Day (or Singles Awareness Day) treating yourself while connecting with loved ones, our social nature is at the heart of how we thrive.

We evolved two key abilities that support hypersociality.  The first is the ability to infer the likely actions of others.  This is known as "theory of mind" and is supported by brain regions that let us transport ourselves into others' situations and, by simulating what we would do, we can forecast what another might do.  The second evolved human ability enables us to share and influence the emotional states of others.  This improves our effectiveness as social beings because we have a sense of why something people are doing is important to them.  Emotions are how the brain values experiences.

One result of the latter ability is that gregariously social humans regulate, and are regulated by, the emotional states of others.  When we are around happy and optimistic people we tend to be happier and more optimistic.  When we are around anxious, neurotic, or unhappy people, we at least partially absorb these negative emotions. The personality trait of empathy, which determines how empathic people are at baseline, varies quite a bit across individuals.  In addition, certain situations increase or diminish empathy.  For example, seeing someone in pain increases empathy in most people, but physicians and nurses have to learn how to suppress empathy in order to effectively assist a person in a medical crisis.  

Published research from my lab and many others have shown that sharing emotions, that is, empathy, motivates people to help others.  Empathy also makes us better friends, romantic partners, parents and work colleagues.  Interpersonal attachments are strengthened when we understand others' emotional states and invest our energies to be of service to others.  Emotions and service run together.

Now let's get to happiness.  No one wants to be unhappy, and nearly everyone would like to be happier.  This is why Immersion Neuroscience built the SIX app.   SIX quantifies how much value the brain obtains from social-emotional experiences. My research has shown that people who get six or more high value key moments per day build their emotional fitness and are therefore better able to sustain positive moods and high energy.  Woohoo, give me some of that!   

Here's the fascinating paradox: If you want to be happier, the easiest way to do this is to invest in serving others.  It is service to others that strengthens relationships and expands the brain's ability to experience joy.  Data from SIX users does show that solo experiences like writing or taking a hike can produce neurologically valuable moments.  But, the data demonstrates that the majority of emotionally valuable experiences involve others.  Just think about how much more people laugh and cry when watching a movie in a packed theater where others' emotions infect our own compared to watching a movie at home alone.    

As lyricist Bob Merrill wrote and Barbra Streisand sang, "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world."  That's all of us. 

Here's another factoid that may surprise you.  Most people have more key moments at work than during leisure.  At work you are often teamed with people you trust and hopefully like.  You also have clear objectives and can celebrate when goals are accomplished.  These are all social activities with the added pressure of, well pressure.  Moderate stress--really moderate physiologic arousal--from challenging cognitive, emotional, or physical tasks generates more key moments than does hanging out at the park or watching a game on TV.  Thriving requires a significant metabolic investment in doing what you are doing.  This is exactly what SIX measures.  And doing something most often involves other humans who are doing along with you.  

The AI assistant in the SIX app guides users toward service and happiness-producing activities that are most valuable to your individual brain.  Happiness can be increased when one consistently shares in this socially-connected journey with others.  Happy hour with colleagues? Yes.  Pizza on Friday night?  Yes.  The journey to greater happiness is full of yeses.  SIX will remind you to connect to others by showing you how valuable together-time is. 

Short on humans to hang with?  Research from my lab has shown that dogs are good substitutes.  Moreover, doggie interactions help train the brain, making it easier and more enjoyable to interact with those less furry humans.  Cats?  Not so much, although even cats provide some neurologic value, just not as much as dogs or humans.  Go figure!

Now you know the formula: invest in social relationships to gain more key moments—as shown in the SIX app—and improve your mood and energy levels. As much as we think we are independent beings, in reality, we are fundamentally interdependent. This Valentine’s Day, embrace the chance to connect with others, whether it's through meaningful moments with friends, partners, or even your furry companion. SIX can show you how to make those connections count, guiding you toward the people and activities that most effectively increase your happiness. Happier people are the ones others want to be around, so be that person—and share the love!