There's an old joke: Why don't men express their feelings?

Because they don't have any.

It's funny because it is kind of true. But, also kind of unfortunate.
Let's level set on men and emotional health. First, we have to be clear on
language. Emotions are a physical sensation in the body, while feelings are
one's conscious appraisal of a physiologic response. An increase in heart rate
after a loud noise at night is an emotional response while fear is the associated
feeling. Every human has emotional responses but may report quite different
feelings.

Differences across individuals in the expression of emotion varies as much
within a sex as across the sexes. On average, men and women
display different emotional responses due to subtle differences in brain
function driven by factors like body size. For example, on average women
respond more strongly than men dangerous situations and, since these are
common, may spend more time in negative emotional states which has been
linked to an increased risk of depression and anxiety disorders.  Indeed, as I
discussed in a previous blog, women suffer twice as many bouts of clinical
depression compared to men. Women also show greater cyclothymia, the
variation from positive to negative emotional states relative to men. This is
due to genetics, hormonal variations, and socialization.
Men tend to exhibit more externalized feelings like anger and pride when
compared to women. These demeanors are often seen as acceptable or even
lauded. Yet, men appear to have less introspection about their emotions than
do women. This may be one reason men are twice as likely to commit suicide
in the United States compared to women. Though men and women in the US
utter the same number of works on average, it will not surprise you that what
is focused on varies by sex. A study analyzing of over 14,000 text files
revealed that women focused more on feelings and social interactions, while
the majority of men's communications were about objects and impersonal
topics.

While men have emotional responses similar to women, they have a deficit in
expressing their feelings. This is a problem because emotional fitness is the
most important of the five pillars of happiness.
So, how should men build up their emotional fitness if they are not in touch
with their feelings? The answer is: Actions and technology.

Actions:

1. Practice prosociality.

The brain is adaptable, even into old age. Men can
strengthen their social ties by investing in relationships. Quality is more
important than quantity so take a friend to dinner or suggest a group of guys
go do some guy stuff sometime. Adding a little stress to the adventure
strengthens social bonds, so if skydiving is not your thing, go rock climbing or
rent ATVs and go off-roading.

2. Be romantic.

Surprise your romantic partner with flowers, a fancy dinner
out, or a weekend get-away. The brain highly values novel experiences so
don't wait until Valentine's Day. Surprise strengthens loving bonds and is an
effective pathway to intimacy. Here's a second suggestion: As romantic
relationships evolve, couples often become best friends. So, ask your partner
to do a "friend activity" like playing a sport to build a stronger foundation for
your relationship.

3. Buy a dog.

Humans created dogs to truly be our best friends. See my best
friend Buddy below. The affection we give and get with dogs is an effective
way to train ourselves to connect to humans. If you are spending too much
time alone, a dog is a great companion and strengthens the parts of the brain
for social connection. And, dogs give men a superpower. When you walk a dog
you'll meet lots of people and some might be cute and single. Those with dogs
are judged to be trustworthy and most people like to pet dogs so they will
approach you to talk. I have met nearly all of my neighbors because of my
twice-daily dogs walks. The exercise and fresh air are also good mood
enhancers.

Technology:

You can measure which if these activities improves your emotional fitness the
most by using the free app SIX from Immersion Neuroscience. Our peer-
reviewed research shows that people--even men!--who have six or more high-
value experiences a day increase their emotional fitness. SIX links to users'
calendars so it is easy to see how your brain values your experiences. Adding
a social component to an experience almost always increases its neurologic
value. SIX gamifies building emotional fitness so you will perform better, live longer and be more fulfilled in life. Emotional fitness is the lever to obtain these riches,
so start using it today.

And, we will end with Dad joke just so I can put a smile on your face.

Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space.