In my 2022 book Immersion: The Science of the Extraordinary and the Source of Happiness, I made the case that rather than seek happiness by using illicit drugs or from a jar of prescribed pharmaceuticals, people should invest in social connections.  I summarize this as "hugs not drugs."  "Invest" is the key word here: connections of all types are only strong enough to be valuable in fraught times if they are nurtured.  Relationship nutrition comes from time, stress, and emotional vulnerability.  Connections baked with these ingredients produce "3am friends;" that is, people you can call in a crisis at 3am and they will show up.

The protective effects of quality social relationships are equally important when it comes to emotional health.  The old-fashioned approach is to tell people to "suck it up" when they are feeling blue or anxious.  But, sometimes this "wait and see" approach precipitates a crisis and then it’s a rush to the emergency department when suffering is high, costs are high, and treatment efficacy is at its nadir.  Instead, imagine knowing objectively if your friends or family are thriving or languishing.  This is exactly the tech my colleagues and I spent 20 years researching and building.  We named the app SIX because our peer-reviewed published research showed that those who have six or more well-defined high neurologic value Key Moments a day are objectively thriving.  And, we made SIX free for everyone to use.

Social sharing is the SIX superpower.  Here's why sharing is a superpower.  Awhile back, a major tech company offered SIX as an employee benefit to empower people to measure and improve their emotional health.  The data showed that use of SIX increased job satisfaction and productivity and reduced quits—this shows the powerful effect of improved emotional fitness.  As these things go, I became friends with the company's Chief Wellness Officer, Pam.  Pam and her husband and I would go to dinner when I was in San Francisco and we added each other as "Friends" in the SIX app.  This meant I saw how many Key Moments she had and she saw mine.  

Pam has a very dynamic personality and when I started my SIX app I'd be impressed that nearly every day she would get more than six Key Moments.  (I sometimes struggle to get three Key Moments when I spend all day working alone in my home).  While reviewing my Key Moments recently, the SIX app showed how all of my friends were doing.  But, Pam had only had one Key Moment that day.  No biggie.  The next day, just one.  The third day, zero.  

We're friends, so I texted her to be sure she was OK. She said she was struggling. When she shared that with me, I called her and asked what I could do to help.  It turns out that her family had been on vacation in Colorado and her elderly father fell and broke his humerus, the long bone in the upper arm, and damaged his shoulder as well.  Her father needed immediate surgery and then had to be transported back to San Francisco in a big cast.  Pam had taken off of work to care for her father and just wanted a friendly voice to talk to because she was overwhelmed. I listened, offered supportive words, and I think helped her.

I have a lot of friends, some are work friends like Pam, and some are like brothers to me.  Honestly, I can't remember to check in with all of these folks every day, but about 50 friends share their number of Key Moments with me in SIX app and they also see my Key Moment count.  I think of SIX as my grandmother avatar reminding me to reach out to my friends and invest my time and emotional energy to ensure they are thriving. 

Hugs, not drugs as I explained in my TED talk.  Even if the hugs are virtual they matter. Improve your relationships today by downloading the free SIX app.  You'll learn what your brain need you to do to thrive and who to spend your time with. And, like your sweet grandma, it will nudge you to connect to those you care about just when they need it most.